Tuesday, 14 June 2011

Big Black Nipples: Part 3

Doesn't have quite the same impact as the Godfather trilogy, I'll grant you.

So first of all we had this. Then we had this. And now ...

... we have Mr Jamie, first thing this morning, brandishing my bottle of John Paul Gaultier Classique. I should have known. Why is even my perfume a little bit pervy?

"Look Mummy, look Mummy, it got the nipples. It got the biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig nipples." (Well, I suppose at least they weren't black.)

"Yes Jamie. That's right. It does." It's come to something when I can can no longer get myself enthusiastic about nipples. Even if they are of the 'big' variety. (I think, in Mr Jamie's mind, 'big nipples' actually means he's referring to the breasts themselves. But I haven't dared to probe further into this one.)

"It got the big big nipples, the big big nipples, the big big NIPPLES." He sang this to a tune not dissimilar to the Hokey Cokey, and danced a little jig towards the ensuite, brandishing Jean Paul. Beth sat on her changing mat, naked, staring at him, totally agog. I don't blame her.

"It got the big big nipples, and that like you Beth, you got the big big nipples, the big big nipples, oh NO." He stopped in his tracks. "That not right AT ALL, is it. You not got the big big nipples ... you got the little tiny nipples. That's right Beth. The little tiny nipples, the little tiny nipples, you got the little tiny nipples." And he, Beth, and Jean Paul danced their merry dance, one of them cavorting around, one of them open mouthed with mirth, and one of them dumbly silent. I'm totally with Jean Paul.

All together now: "You got the little tiny nipples, the little tiny nipples, the little tiny nipples, RAH RAH RAH."

Too early for gin?

4 comments:

fireflyphil said...

People pay silly money to actually watch that sort of thing ON PURPOSE. The shows they go to are called POP CONCERTS. Mr. Jamie is right on target for a glittering career. [FFP thinks: Where does he get the acting aptitude from?]

KT said...

I haven't the foggiest ;)

april said...

Oh god - TAPE IT - send it to funniest home videos - win thousands of dollars or a car! seriously - he is one clever boy though that one.

KT said...

April - if only I could have done. It was utter, utter genius.

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