Edited highlights

I honestly do not know where the time is going at the moment. One moment I am sitting there on the sofa on a Sunday night, head buried ear deep in a glass of wine ... the next moment I am sitting there again on the sofa on a Sunday night, head buried ear deep in a glass of wine. (One might also say there was a theme ... not to mention the possible cause/effect of said glass of wine ...)

Some recent edited highlights for you:

• Receiving a phone call at 8am on Sunday morning (pre glass of wine) from my lovely friend Hayley. I was a little startled to receive a phone call from her: reason being, she was currently in situ in my spare room. Upon answering I quickly discovered that she really was in situ, and, in fact, had no means of becoming out of situ any time soon. The catch on her door had jammed shut (your honour), and consequently she was stuck in there as tightly as a stuck tight thing. I was all up for breaking the door down (any excuse) but Neil sensibly stepped in and removed the door handle with a screwdriver before turning the catch inside the door. Which promptly broke off and disintegrated into little pieces. Oops. I got bored at this point and went downstairs for toast (sorry Hayley) and by the time I'd returned Hayley was mercifully freed and was straight into the bathroom for The Longest Wee Ever. What can I say? We like to keep our guests close to us ... don't let that put you off ...
• Dealing with my daughter's 'sit ins' at nursery. Yes, Beth for some reason has decided that she prefers nursery to home, which on the last couple of nights has meant me carrying out my best 'peace-keeping' negotiations with her in order to remove her from her iron clad grip on the nursery carpet as she screeched and flailed her little fists about. I'm not sure what's more mortifying: the rage she demonstrates, or the fact that she'd so clearly rather not be going home with her mother.
• Protecting Mr Jamie from The Stomach Of Beth. She is turning into little more than an (occasionally angry) stomach on legs. Upon finishing her food (in about 30 seconds flat) she will then walk over to stand over Mr Jamie in a menacing manner as he eats his, hitting him repeatedly around the head until he capitulates and gives her some of his leftovers. She will then smirk smugly and quietly stand there chewing before the mouthful ends and the whole routine starts again. Last night, attempting to protect Mr Jamie (and his cheesecake), I decided I would sit him up on the kitchen side to eat it. Beth, alas, caught sight of this manouevre and immediately started hurling herself against the cabinets in a wild rage, being somewhat deprived of any cheesecake action.

The thought of what the future might hold when it comes to Beth's personality is terrifying. Neil made the most ominous comment of all last night as she sat growling at her food and hitting Mr Jamie around the head:

"It's interesting, isn't it. She's so like you ..."

Oh god.