Have you gone yet? No? Well on your own head be it ...
Mr Jamie, Mr Jamie, Mr Jamie. Provider of all my best blog material. Even by his standards mind, this was somewhat jaw dropping.
On Friday night, Beth having collapsed into a tantrumming heap and now fast asleep, Mr Jamie was permitted to stay up with Neil and watch An Unsuitable Film. When I say 'permitted', I can confirm that all 'permitting' was done entirely by Neil. I meanwhile helpfully lay on the sofa and
Saturday morning, I was back on the self same sofa - this time minus the wine - when Mr Jamie walked in. Dressed as a knight. The film of the previous evening was clearly still very much forefront in his mind.
"Hello Jamie. What are you doing?"
"I'm a knight, and I'm fighting."
"Oh, good. What are you fighting?"
"I'm fighting the other team."
"Are they the baddies?"
"Yes, they're the baddies and I am killing them."
"Why am I not surprised. What are the other team called?"
"My team are the goodies and they are called The Goodies."
"Ah, I see what you did there. And what about the other team?"
"And the other team are the baddies and they are called ... the ... the ... the ... [recollection finally dawning] ... the MUSLIMS."
"The what now?"
"The MUSLIMS, and I am getting out my sword and killing them. YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH."
Oh. Dear. God.
The only plus side is it's half term, which gives me a full week to remind Mr Jamie to never, ever, ever say anything like that ever again, particularly in a public forum. The thought of him coming out with something like that in his all-faith-embracing, CofE school ... well, it doesn't bear even thinking about.
The heavy irony is that this morning he was all worried because he'd had a dream last night in which he'd been 'saying bad words'.
"What were you saying? It's okay, you can tell me."
"But will you tell me off?"
"No, I won't tell you off."
"But it was really bad, Mummy."
"It's fine love, honestly. Because you're just telling me about a dream."
"Okay ... but don't tell me off ... I was saying ... I was saying ... things like IDIOT." And he hid his face in his hands and looked absolutely mortified.
Oh Mr Jamie.